Tuesday, January 31 xin nian kuai le!here's to my dearest mei, cass ong - said what i've said already in my gift haha. sentence from me to you this year is, "if i'm a great jie, it's because i've a great mei like you." love you loads! =) new year is here means... fey bbq coming... which also means... means... result is coming.. *worried sick* I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold Heli Dont ask me why 10:11 PM Wednesday, January 18 "Ms Ng! Ms Ng!! Ms NG!"Think probably i'm gonna hear this in my dream tonight or rather later on. Woo.. err 4th day of work and hmm i'm feeling loads. Not really a very stressful or tiring job, but still the long hours with kids and having to listen and teach them hasn't been that simple and easy as it seems. Start to know more of these kids.. but more to come, i know. But it has been a little miserable always for part of the day. and i think i know why. glad that thursday is coming which means friday is coming soon.. and weekend! right, time for my 7 hours + + of sleep! good night! Heli Dont ask me why 11:00 PM Thursday, January 12 the ultimate desire.can't comprehend the amount of enthusiasm. can't cap the ambitious plans and thoughts i have. can only cheekily keep them to myself. how i wish i can unleash them all now. =) but i will wait, and hope that all would make it for the fey gathering. =D Heli Dont ask me why 10:42 PM Sunday, January 8 Regrets.regretted saying that line of insensitive words that day.. regretted trying to act as if things will be alright.. regretted having such sentimental feelings.. regretted for not letting things progress nicely.. to you: i'm sorry for saying those words. i don't mean to hurt (if it does) to you. je suis sentimental une personne. mais j'essaye de le cacher. ainsi quand j'ai dit, "do je regarde comme si je suis triste?", j'ai regretté de dire cela immédiatement. je n'ai pas voulu dire ce que j'ai dit. je penserai à vous. Heli Dont ask me why 2:52 PM Friday, January 6 i know where the tears came from.couldn't really experience their happiness, how satisfied they were... all i felt was i missed the good old days. the period when it was our turn to give all we got.. memories and memories. so much of them. my 3rd year and counting i guess.. count count count till.. maybe 5 or 6? A little different this year, see things in a different way from last few years, a different way of trying to handle things.. i felt as if, really i've grown older and a pity my heart is no longer as young as theirs, no longer as lively haha. to the SLs, wonder if any of you in the orientation committee/campfire committee/cca leaders/other helpers etc would get to read what i'm writing now, i just want to say... well done, really. =) PS: i was very touched by all of you. Heli Dont ask me why 10:52 PM Wednesday, January 4 adult fare adult fare adult fare WHAT THE..right i woke up this morning (could have lai some more chuan) because i was troubled by being jobless for the present moment. so kind souls kind pals out there, please introduce job to meee. because if not at this rate, i will just be stuck at home and don't go out. sigh it's so expensive to travel now, about $1.15 each trip. =/ job, anyone? Heli Dont ask me why 10:02 AM Sunday, January 1 gonna squeeze many stuffs in one entry!finally i'm able to thank my NY friends haha. thanks for the ermmm celebration @ taka. they made me wore a snow white crown and a wand. ![]() then they made me ate 19 apples at the staircase there you know the fountain there. tell you so pai seh. haha but i finished 3 apples there but a lot le okay! then item no 2, they bought me beer lols. so in total... 1500ml carlsberg. 8 apples (both green and red). but still, haha thanks for the celebrations and lovely items for me. haha really. =) then... 2ndly, i'm gonna say really a big thanks to this group of people once more dear yingxian (especially her cos she did the video!! =D), jinglin, cass, leen, wendy, yixin, vennie, isabelle, nora, dorcas, chee kean, teckpeng, jay, youcai, jianting, yang, dennis... the video was really wonderful and despite so many people showing off the horse leg, and i sort of expected what is the gift, yet at the sight of it i'm still very shocked and very touched. thank you for the time and effort even though some of you only said a few words, some said for more than a few minutes, which really was very unexpected, touching, and some of you, the sincerity shown has really touched me. special thanks to cass ong, wendy and leen. words said, songs sang, and effort put in really deserve a million thanks from me. thank you for the conflicts and anger and swearings that was caused in the process but eventually it all turns out so nice and wonderful. and to dearest yingxian, more importantly, all these could not have been possible without you collaborating all of it, spending nearly a month, and all the nights doing it.. yeah you've made me very gan dong really. as i was watching the video, this thought about "why and what do i deserve to have all these" keep recurring in my mind more than once through out, i really was just very grateful that in my life i actually am so very xing fu to come across these people. they are not ordinary, but extraordinary people that especially touched my life in many ways. strangely, we seem to never grow up haha and that i think is very precious. i always think will we stay the same way, as in doing the same things with the same people? but i always drop the thought for to me, what must come, will come. more importantly is to enjoy the presence of all of you, and that, is enough for me. =) and so, hehe.. it has been a wonderful birthday with so many unexpected gifts. hehe i feel so greatly blessed. and to all once more, i love you loads and thanks big time! Heli Dont ask me why 6:06 PM |
Personal archives 2002.11 .: Thoughts :. I know i have to let you go.. Everyone tells me this is so... See, my life has stopped since You passed away Sometimes i can't bear it Even for one more day.. Thoughts of you consume me Every second of everyday I just want it back you know The way things used to be... In my life you held the key And now i have just your memory And though this is not enough for me This is how it has to be... I need to laugh again without feeling guilty You aren't here... I feel so alone & full of tear It's so terribly hard when all that's Left is tears... Mum, i wish you are here Just plainly listening to me... I promise to keep you safe Where you have always been of course In my heart, that's the place... |